I don't know how to do this I have tried so many time yet I always end up writing what I think would some how please anybody that stumbles across it in a frantic scurry to find a page of interest. I hate the feeling of not being able to give 100% the feeling of not being able to give people what they want cuts me so deep, Yet unlike some people that would just get on with life and do there best I push and push the walls until they fall and people get hurt. I have lied and lied and lied to the point that people I love 'well the one person I love' has come close to leaving me on numerous occasions. Thankfully I have landed on my feet just the once in my life and found that one spark that can set off the hole reaction the one thing that can make that little hamster wheel power the hole world ' her name is Nikita'. I want to put my self out there and see what people think about the real me not dream me so that's the reason I will be doing this as much as possible not just for approval but for my self I want to talk and express my words and life.
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