The fuzz

Okay maybe calling this post the fuzz is a little bit cruel to the police but hay ho,
At this moment in time i am sat in Alderney airport waiting till 5pm to get a flight to Guernsey and why to Guernsey well it turns out that the hotel I have been working for well the Manager Scott Chance is a bit dodgy, He has been hiring staff yet not getting anyone a licence to work here, I know its stupid Im a Guernsey citizen yet I have to get a new licence to work in Alderney. Anyway it all came to a head when I was at work and the police turned up all of the police force in Alderney in fact all Two of them, I was told i was breaking the law by working with out it I was to say the least a little socked by the hole thing and pist off with Scott, I had to go get interviewed and everything. So my way out of it all was to give evidence against the hotel and Scott, the police took my deal I got off free yet Ill need to come back when it goes to court to give evidence. Thank fully I happened to run in to the police officer that was the community bobby in Sprotbrough Doncaster where I grew up ' you never know who you are going to run in to do you '. So now on our way to Guernsey to get a house with the housing association I think this could be a good thing we have been so worried about finding the money for the move and the rent yet it may have all fell in to place. Not wanting to get excited but could this make it all right? fingers crossed

hello world and you

does anyone else feel the need to blog for people that read them and not for your self, I today thought that yes even if no one is reading what if some one did and they wanted more excitement, do I pretend to be 007 egan will egan or do i pretend to be dying for the sympathy vote how do you please that one person let alone the 10 or more. Okay a couple or more facts about me,
1. I'm 22
2. I have been arrested 6 x
3. I went to prison for 2 days but got released on a technicality
4. I went on the run when released to bail
5. I got my charges dropped because I knew the right people

ok there is 5 things you never knew, maybe ill put more one day

night all

101 changes and back again

Hello World, 101 changes and counting, I am now in Alderney so close to Guernsey wooooo, I don't think I have felt so at home than I do right now, I am working in a 27 room hotel where I'm the head housekeeper I know everyone else thinks I'm Gay so don't worry I don't blame you. Nikita and I have been the beach a few times but we hd a little miss hap the 1st time nikita got sun burned and has been flaking all over the house eeeeeeeeeeeee. I hadn't wrote on this for weeks due to the fact I didn't think anyone else was reading it but i found out today Nikita was reading it so hear we go, big shout out to the massive of NIKITA. WOOOOOOO LOVE YOU ALL

Alderney

Tomorrow I move to Alderney no a new job and home Im very nervous to what will happen when Im there, It would be alot easer if Nikita was with me Im missing her just thinking about it but hopefully in a couple of weeks she will be able to move to her mums house in Guernsey and then we will only be a few miles apart although that might as well be the other side of the world. To be honest Im just scared I wont fit in will I be to quiet to load or just not what they want, I have to enviable job of having to fire all the house keeping team in my first week I already have my first orders and Im not there yet.........., Not to make it harder for me hay,

Blog time

Okay I decided it was time to do a blog, we have hit the new months some days ago and alot have changed, With the hole world it a tits up state over this swine flu It has shed some light on my life for me, I have come to the conclusion that I want to do some thing with my life, I know everyone says that but for me I have never wanted to do anything to be honest. I think i want to do something in a office I love the ide of having a desk and computer to my self all mine, I have been looking for the jobs in guernsey with the eminent move creeping up very fast, Its only 4 months till we have to be there. Worry yes but it will be okay i hope.

pride

We well I say we but Nikita had some very good news today , she got it she got the job in Guernsey. She was so nervous and so was I when I picked the post up today and caught a glimpse of the stamp from guernsey health care . I plan on buying her a full set of stationary when she starts I know it sounds strange but I know it will make her happy. Im so proud of her she has finally got what she deserves.

Back Home

Nikita got back home yesterday I was so happy to see her. I really want to get the money together now to move back to Guernsey as soon as. I don't think getting a job would be that hard I've spoke to a couple of people that said they would take me on if we are there but its all down to finding the money to get a flat/house or what ever. So If anyone reading this has 5k to spare let me know Ill pay you back lol

Nikita came back and I wanted to show her how much I love her so I try'd to tell her how I feel about her how beautiful she is but it just seems to upset her so I don't know what to say and I really just want to say how special she is to me but I'm messing up saying anything I can think of just so I get to hear her speak because it makes me feel special this perfect person talking to me.

x

just me

its just me today no one else Nikita has gone away to Guernsey till Thursday she has an interview on Wednesday to become a nurse there. Im really proud of her but in some ways I wish she had never wanted to be a nurse because if she hadn't she would be with me today, I miss her so much I can't eat drink or think. This note has so far took me 47 minutes I'm that lost and with out the love of my life I would be nothing.

thats all

Easter

Easter has been and gone eggs where eating well we ate them before easter but it was still a good day. Nikita goes away tomorrow back to Guernsey for an interview I think she will get it and hopefully we will be able to move back soon. The price of property is so high there and with us having a cat and dog not many people want to rent to you, We will find something though. I don't really have much to right about today i'm ill so not with it really.

Betting

I have always been brought up around betting my grandad loved the horses and so does my step dad but I've never been a big better the odd £ her and there but today I took the chance I took £10 and put it in my on-line betfair account. So to begin I bet £1 a time on 21 and then the full £10 you can see what I'm getting at, but when everything is going so wrong in my life at times I went and Won £160, £160 fuck me when do you get £160 no tax a extra amount in your account that has not yet been spent on bills or food or clothing. I'm not saying go and bet everything you have but there is an excitement to it you get that scared yet secret little buzz from it. Everyone needs this kind of little buzz now and again live your life

sex

When I was younger a teenager I couldn't wait to have sex and yes just like every other lad I said I had knowing I hadn't but don't we all try to fit in at some point. The 1st time I had sex was when I was 20, it was with Nikita the love of my life she was scared but never put it across but so was I. I had hear'd so many things about it would only last for 2 minutes at that your 1st time but I'm proud to say it was more like two hours. I had no idea what i was doing but it was okay I loved her already. Yet now we have been together for two years it is so much more then sex it is passion and lust and lets face it, is love not just that. We all fall for someone that we have a lust for 1st, we see them across a bar we see them in the shop, in town, in work and we want them we want to kiss them to hold them to make love to them so lust is a lot to do with love. I lust for the feeling of sex with Nikita, don't get me wrong I still look at women you don't stop being attractive to women just because you have the perfect one. I'm not saying all this because I'm sleeping with someone else or anything like that but well I don't know I'm probably just turned on and horny but I crave for the connection each and every day and its just that I find it hard, Nikita has bipolar and doesn't get that lust as much as I do and I tend to be feeling guilty about it more and more. Do I tell her or not, I don't just want sex I want the connection


all this makes no seance to me as well

Tuesday

Today is going to one of them days I can just tell, do you know when you wake up some days you just know something is going to happen good or bad but still you just know. I'm done in I just don't have the strength to get my head of the pillow yet I still like days like this I get lots going through my head and just now and again I have good ideas.

theft

yesterday I got a knock on my door from my neighbour telling me the police was looking at my car, so I ran out to make sore everything was okay. I had to show them everything I had for the car and then they asked me for the key and arrested me. It turned out after 9hours in a police cell the car had been sold to me stolen. So i now have to try and claim the money back for it. It just shows you can get ripped off by anyone i bought it from a dealer not a guy down at the pub. So pissed off with it all

My dream

For as far as I can remember I have always dreamed of being the head chef in a beach restaurant, I know its just a dream but I am a really good cook I have such a passion for it that I some times get a little embarrassed  to show it, Yes I know it sounds strange but I don't want to be put down by the people I cook for so I only ever cook very simple food yet still knowing I can do a hundred times better and I have in the past. So well this week I have applied for that dream job In a little restaurant in Guernsey and Ive had a reply they seem very excited about me and what I would want to bring to the restaurant. I'm now just sat here waiting for the reply to my email I sent last night and I am so scared to here back from him, will he want me wont he, this is the break I need. 

Lets hope 

My blue eyes

I don't know how to do this I have tried so many time yet I always end up writing what I think would some how please anybody that stumbles across it in a frantic scurry to find a page of interest. I hate the feeling of not being able to give 100% the feeling of not being able to give people what they want cuts me so deep, Yet unlike some people that would just get on with life and do there best I push and push the walls until they fall and people get hurt. I have lied and lied and lied to the point that people I love 'well the one person I love' has come close to leaving me on numerous occasions. Thankfully I have landed on my feet just the once in my life and found that one spark that can set off the hole reaction the one thing that can make that little hamster wheel power the hole world ' her name is Nikita'.  I want to put my self out there and see what people think about the real me not dream me so that's the reason I will be doing this as much as possible not just for approval but for my self I want to talk and express my words and life.